I can’t see much, but I think I can see 2 stages on my trip so far…first The Leap and now The Fog.
Stage 1: The Leap
That was fun. A skinny dip off the edge of what I had been doing for 15 years into a world of new possibilities. I felt adventurous and liberated. I developed a puppy-like excitement for the idea of helping people, which manifested itself in impulsive actions like offering to scrub people’s toilets. A sense of purpose overcame the feeling of fear, which allowed to me to jump, into…
Stage 2: The Fog
Greetings from The Fog.
When I did The Leap I didn’t exactly soar, I kind of floated onto a Ledge. Which was unfortunately shrouded in The Fog.
The excited puppy is still live and sniffing, but whimpering a bit now. It is a bit disorientating; there’s nothing to suggest what to do next. Moving through The Fog requires…a good old grope. So I tell myself to avoid procrastination (I have a tempting Post-It full of admin) and concentrate on any sort of real action. And look after my PFC.
Projects (e.g. #sprintypants) have begun to feel like they could be more worthwhile than random, spontaneous acts of helpfulness, but I do worry about wasting valuable time on what might be a crap idea. I believe this can be translated as “fear of failure”.
What’s the next stage? Who knows? I get the feeling that The Fog is not about finding an answer and a way out, but simply about learning how not to know, and still move forward anyway.
I bet it requires another one of those Leaps to get me out of this patch of Fog. Into another patch of Fog probably – more useful practice.
That’s how it is livin’ life on the Ledge.
Right, I’m off for a grope.