On a foggy ledge

I can’t see much, but I think I can see 2 stages on my trip so far…first The Leap and now The Fog.

Stage 1: The Leap

That was fun.  A skinny dip off the edge of what I had been doing for 15 years into a world of new possibilities.  I felt adventurous and liberated.  I developed a puppy-like excitement for the idea of helping people, which manifested itself in impulsive actions like offering to scrub people’s toilets.  A sense of purpose overcame the feeling of fear, which allowed to me to jump, into…

Stage 2: The Fog

Greetings from The Fog.

When I did The Leap I didn’t exactly soar, I kind of floated onto a Ledge.  Which was unfortunately shrouded in The Fog.

The excited puppy is still live and sniffing, but whimpering a bit now.  It is a bit disorientating; there’s nothing to suggest what to do next.  Moving through The Fog requires…a good old grope.  So I tell myself to avoid procrastination (I have a tempting Post-It full of admin) and concentrate on any sort of real action.  And look after my PFC.

Projects (e.g. #sprintypants) have begun to feel like they could be more worthwhile than random, spontaneous acts of helpfulness, but I do worry about wasting valuable time on what might be a crap idea.  I believe this can be translated as “fear of failure”.

What’s the next stage?  Who knows?  I get the feeling that The Fog is not about finding an answer and a way out, but simply about learning how not to know, and still move forward anyway.

I bet it requires another one of those Leaps to get me out of this patch of Fog.  Into another patch of Fog probably – more useful practice.

That’s how it is livin’ life on the Ledge.

Right, I’m off for a grope.

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