Do you consider yourself a brave person? Courage can come and go so fleetingly, I’m not sure it’s a permanent character trait.
Some people have recently said that it was brave of me to choose a different direction. It didn’t particularly feel that way; the change was exciting and I did it without dwelling on it.
But yesterday I started feeling a bit uncomfortable and weird; something was bothering me and I didn’t know what. That was the worst bit: since I didn’t know what I was nervous about, I became nervous about everything, including my recent career decision.
The headmistress of my daughter’s school asked me a few weeks ago to be the DJ / MC at their Christmas disco, which is this afternoon. Since then, the idea of entertaining 150 kids aged between 4 and 10 has been exhilarating. I have even hired a spangly red disco jacket and it looks great. I had excitedly suggested lots of ideas of how to spice up the occasion.
One of these will be leading a dance of the Macarena. This morning when I was checking some You Tube clips, I realised that I don’t know the moves at all, and I can’t stand the Macarena anyway. And I was really quite worried about it.
That was the culprit, and it was infecting everything – my rock solid confidence, tricked by the Macarena!
There’s only one thing for it. I have to trick my confidence back on track again. I’m going to go back home and, until I’m an expert, practice the Macarena. In my red disco jacket.
I am clearly not a brave person if I am scared by the Macarena. But nor am I a fearful person. There are no such people. Just normal people who sometimes have brave days, and sometimes don’t.